$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
