I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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