I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize