There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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