Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize