is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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