Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My vagina is officially offended.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
