This is not my ceiling
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
