I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
