Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
