I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
