is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
