"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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