It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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