That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We talked him into tasing himself.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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