i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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