brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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