New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
