Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
