He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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