I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
