and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
