Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
