You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
