Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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