Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
