My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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