This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
