What did we do last night that was yellow?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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