I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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