I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sober January is a disaster.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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