Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
