Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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