YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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