how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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