Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
