Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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