I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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