He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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