I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
