so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
