I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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