when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
