Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
