Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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