There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
