I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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