Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
