Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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