I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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