and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
