break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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