Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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