I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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