So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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