It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize