This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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